FAQs

What is a death doula?

Birthing Doula’s help guide you into this world, and a Death Doula assists with guiding you as you leave it. I am trained to support you and your family before, during and after death by providing services based on what you want or need.  You are in charge and I am your co-pilot.

Why is a doula important to me as someone who is LGBTQ+?

As a proud member of the Alphabet Mafia, I know our bio-family structures can be…ahem…complicated. You may have cultivated your own family over time and these are the people who you will want to surround you at the end of your life. Having documentation and a plan in place not only ensures that your name, pronouns and wishes are honored, but also the people who are no longer in your life don’t have the right to swoop in and speak on your behalf just because they are connected to you by blood.

I have a terminal illness. Is medical Aid in Dying available in New York?

Unfortunately not, however, the Bill was reintroduced in the Assembly on February 1, 2021.  Compassion & Choices is championing the measure and working diligently to get this passed. Fingers crossed New Yorkers will have access to this in 2021.

I’m noT ready to die. What should I do?

Crappy part about being human…at some point, we have to face the end. It’s ok not to be ready. It’s ok to have fear and anxiety. Be honest about that with yourself. Be honest with those you trust in your inner circle. If they are not ready either and can’t provide the support you need, find an outlet for yourself that allows space for you to express these feelings. That can look like anything that brings you ease…music, therapy, paint by numbers or hiking to the top of a mountain and screaming. Dying is heavy stuff, you don’t have to carry it all on your own.

What is the benefit to using a doula?

My role as a Doula is to be there to support you as you face death and advocate for you as you die so that you do so in the way you want. Taking on logistics, managing planning and providing guidance is what brings me joy so that you can focus on what is most important, a good death. 

Do you have to be at the end of your life, terminally ill or a certain age to use death doula services?

Absolutely not. Making a plan for your end of life can be done at any time and I encourage people of all ages to make a plan for themselves. My goal in this work is to change the negative bubble that surrounds death and dying. There is power in talking openly about death…become your own badass.